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A lot of things have been happening lately. It could be said that it has been a fun-filled month, with lots of events happening. First was the end of semester exams, then there was the boyfriend arriving from UK, and then I had to do a bunch of other stuff. So far, I have managed to obtain certain documents for my future. I did submit an application into Murdoch University, but I’ll have to wait till my results from TAFE is released. To think that, it has been 2 years of living in Perth. Time does fly past quickly.

Here are some pictures from my recently new playtoy, Canon Ixus 100Is. I got the black in colour one since the red one wasn’t available at Dick Smith. I’m a happy bunny either way. A camera!

Trinket Box.

Daisy

Cuts on my finger. Thanks to the tomato slicer. It has been 3 weeks, almost a month, I can still see the marks...

You and I.

Winter is finally here. It is terrible. I am not a fan of big winds and heavy rain. I am not a big fan of a yoyo-ing weather. Its sunny, then its raining, then its both plus winds. I have been enjoying the company of the boy. I wonder how its gonna be when he’s not around. Alone once again, with the laptop and tv as my best friend. lols.

On another note, this past month, he probably has come to realize that I am a terribly forgetful person. In the last 72 hours, I have lost my keys, my socks and my camera cable. Its just that I don’t remember where I put it. I constantly ask him, where is the mobile phone, where is the remote, or where’s my keys? You’d think that after asking those repeatedly, I’d do something about my memory. I have done something, a cup like thing, where I can put my keys and hair tie. This way, it won’t get lost! lols. I guess thats it. Hope all goes well.

Hello panda is good!

The reason for maps are to guide you to a specific location, either when you’re lost or when you just need to find the best path to go somewhere. If you had a map that would tell you how you’re suppose to walk, run or drive in whichever direction. Wouldn’t that be good?

Last post was about a month ago. Now thats really a while back! Exams are officially over. I have no idea what to do now. Lols. I have to start planning for my future, I suppose. It is kind of weird. At the very least, I have work! lols Short post, don’t know what to say. Tv is boring!

Parthenon Temple Athen Greece

The image you see is an image of the Parthenon Temple. Today in class, I learned the Parthenon Principle. It got my interest as it is a piece of history tied up with some of today’s marketing principles. The Parthenon was built in the 5th Century BC for the Greek God. At least that is what I have been told and what I have read. What always catches my attention is how history is a beautiful form of art in itself. The ancient ruins of Egpyt and like, is evidence that some form of civilization existed thousands of years ago. Some stories are actually true.

This temple is incredible because it withstands and defies all natural disasters because of its structural design. This is the feature that was employed in the Parthenon Principle. How a business should not only rely on one form of marketing but instead have many pillars to stand on. So if any one fails, there’s still 6 others. It is a great piece of architecture.

Now I only wished that I could write as much for my assignment due on Friday! Oh my.

xoxo.

A Greek philosopher once said: ‘Know, first, who you are; and then adorn yourself accordingly.’

The cake.

How does being 21 feel like? I reckon it is not any different! XP

i remember the time when i drifted away from life and my family… it was the beginning of december 2006 until the middle or end of january 2007. it was the time when i just broke up with my ex, finished or rather fucked up my a’levels and began working as a internet cafe technician.

i drifted away from life, family and myself. i wasn’t there when my family was almost shattered into pieces, i wasn’t there when my mother and sisters cried, i wasn’t there for my family’s struggle. in fact, i only knew when they came to an agreement and fixed things.

through the times of me drifting away in the heart of brunei, coming home in between 1-4am in the morning, waking up at between 9am-12pm and got right to work. i barefly saw my family. during these times, i was running away from life while at the same time, searching for myself, and for who i really am… and also through those times, i learnt that those “friends” that i made, wasn’t friends, just vultures. i came to see the real faces of people, the deceit, and the ugly. before that, i was so naive, so stupid… so young…

it was a life altering event, or rather, process. because of just these few months, i gained alot more life experiences. i’m confident enough to say that, although i do not have what the scholars can achieve or present, they do not have the life experiences that i have. through those times, i learnt how to deceit, to manipulate, and to control, even though i do not agree on doing any of those followings. but i do know how things work, and the nature of people.

i have no regrets whatsoever on what they say, “wasting 1 year of your life”. that 1 single year, made me who i am, how i think, and how i am. of course, i do have regrets. i regret the fact that i am not able to link with my family, my siblings, and my parents… especially my father. i am envious to those who have fathers to joke around like a friend, to talk to, and a father that trusts his son…

this seems impossible to achieve as both of us are similarly hard headed, and most importantly, sorry to say this, but his ego is too big for me to pass. yeah, he achieved alot… he often talked about how he achieved this and that with ease, yada yada bla bla… the thing is, i don’t care… i only cared if he can let his ego go and tries to talk to his son like a person, or a friend. not just bottling up what i did wrong, and blow it on me when i fuck up…

well, its not his fault neither. i have my own fair share of bullshit wrong decisions. i made so many so much mistakes in life that made my parents so angry… made them have no trust whatsoever on me. how i wish i can be a better son… i know for a fact that, i’m doing them a favour by coming to UK. leaving them alone. i could actually see how my family’s life and connections flourished without me. its like… i’m the disease that fuck things up for my family whenever i’m back in Brunei… i really do wonder at times if i should go back at all. since i am always the one who brings the grief to the family…

When love is in excess, it brings a man no honor, nor worthiness.

- Euripides

what we learnt as children, that 1+1 = 2, is false. 1+1=1, we even have a word for when you plus another equals 1, that word, is love.

- Zen Philosophy

there’s a saying made by a poet named Ella Wheeler Wilcox,

laugh, and the world laughs with you; weep, and you weep alone.

it was published in 1883, in a poem called “Solitude”…

the saddest part is that, i noticed myself, that when i laugh, i laughed alone; and when i wept, i wept alone…

there’s actually a little voice inside me, screaming for help… for what help you may ask… for someone to talk to and someone who listens… i used to be very outspoken about my problems, and so on, but lately, i don’t seem to be able to find that outlet anymore… i didn’t mind at first, but slowly, it built up over the months, then years…

i thought you have a girlfriend, you would ask.

the thing is, you dislike it when i talk about my problems, you prefer talking about us. it’s always nice talking about us, but, once in awhile, it’s nice to have someone to talk to about my own issues, and have atleast some response to it instead of just telling that person your issues, and all you get is just, oh okay. it felt… somewhat that, the one listening isn’t actually listening at all, and doesn’t care at all.

yeah, i know you, you care, but you do not know what and how to respond…

maybe, thats why i feel as though i’m all alone in this world, half the time…

the readers can call me selfish, self centered, or whatever floats your boat… maybe i just am, but who are you to judge me?  you weren’t there for me enough to judge me for who i am, your not even a part of my life to begin with.

these few days, i entertained myself with movies and series. laughed with myself, felt excited during the climax with myself, and teared alone. i would either watch an episode over and over again, just because of how funny it is, just to laugh, and make myself feel better… but honestly, it’s getting old… i would even watch the dark knight again, just to be wow’d again, to entertain myself, and for some sick reason, i grinned whenever the Joker speaks, and would mimick the way he says “why so serious?”, at the same time the movie plays.

that’s just fucked up isn’t it?

i’m still thinking whether to take them antibiotics, because i can feel another bed ridden session coming for me, having an ache in the throat, a symtomp that shows when i’m getting a really bad swollen throat, that happened a year ago, leaving me bed ridden for a month, only being awake for 2 hours per day…